“This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase through these links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting Bookish Musings!”
Welcome to the newest post in Writing While Healing, a series where I speak with indie authors who’ve found light through writing during their darkest times.
Today, I’m honored to feature Beatrice Lebrun. You can learn more about Beatrice Lebrun here.
Please introduce yourself!
Hi!! My name is Beatrice. I'm a Venezuelan immigrant currently living in the US
Please tell us a little about yourself and the kind of stories you write.
The main reason I write is catharsis; it's the most effective way I've found over the years to help process my emotions, especially during difficult times. My latest novel (and official debut) is heavily based on my personal experiences and traumas, and I worked closely alongside my therapist to make sure that unpacking all of this wasn't going to put me back in the same hole I finally crawled out of, and also making sure I didn't perpetuate harmful ideas.
A good example of this is that the original version of the novel had scenes that gave the impression the MC's characters abuse was her fault, which is something I unfortunately had internalized at the time, working through my own trauma through it helped me understand this about myself and also helped me rebuild the story from a place of healing and understanding.
Please share a bit about your mental health journey, as much as you are comfortable with :)
It's so hard to talk about everything at once, but I feel it's important to mention all of these different things, because they've made me who I am today.
I have this mix of "I feel too much, all the time", perceived numbness, issues with perceiving what's real vs what's not, general troubles with relating to other people and even what some would call attention seeking behavior (the HPD is really strong in me).
For the longest time saw those things as defects, and have been told the same. I've been called a monster by the people close to me, because of this mix of characteristics that define me. I've been in and out of therapy and even inpatient treatment for a long period of my life and it's just very recently that I started accepting that these are just pieces of the puzzle, but not the full picture. I've had so many different diagnoses and then therapists and pychiatrists that tell me to disregard all the other ones I got in the past and just listen to them, damn, I even had one of them say "you will never be able to live a normal life outside of a hospital or without having someone to care for you 24/7. You probably won't ever have a lasting relationship because of how difficult it is to deal with someone like you." Which sounds insane, and I hope it was an exaggeration, but it scarred 18 year old me for a long time.
It's been an uphill battle, but I think that in the last couple of years I finally started to heal and accept myself for who I am. The work I've done alongside my current therapist has been life changing in the best possible way. I know labels are not for everyone, but the autism, PTSD and HPD diagnosis alongside the Depression and ADHD I had in the past, really helped me paint a full picture of who I am and finally accept that there are some things in me I don't have to feel forced to change, just because they don't fit in a perfect mold.
How has your mental health influenced your writing process or creativity?
My mental health journey and my writing process are intimately connected to the point that it would be impossible for me to try to write stories that are separated of my mental state at the time or experiences associated with my mental health journey.
Do you find writing to be healing, challenging, or a bit of both?
Definitely a bit of both, but even the challenging aspects are worth it.
Has your experience with mental health shaped the themes or characters in your stories?
Yes, both what I have learned through therapy as well as my own research.
Are there any writing routines, boundaries, or self-care habits that help you stay grounded?
I try to check in with myself constantly and make sure I'm not over-excerting myself or taking over topics that maybe I'm not mentally prepared to deal with just yet. I used to have a pretty toxic relationship with writing and would force myself to produce at very alarming rates, I've taken a step back from that because it wasn't sustainable or healthy.
What advice would you give to other writers who have similar struggles as you?
Everybody's brains are different and that's the fundamental aspect of creating your own writing routine and deciding what approach is best for you. Listen to yourself, to your body and your mind. Don't force to follow certain rules or steps others before you have set if they don't align with the way your brain works! Also, PLEASE be kind and gentle with yourself, your inner child will thank you greatly!
Have you ever taken breaks from writing to focus on your mental health?
I've taken very long breaks, at one point even a couple of years. It hurt in many ways but in the end those breaks did help me come back stronger. Once thing that I would say is that, if I hadn't been over-exploiting myself before, I wouldn't have exploded and those breaks could have been significantly shorter. Right now I'm working on maintaining a more sustainable pace to not reach that crisis point again.
What’s something you wish more people understood about being a writer with mental health struggles?
The world nowadays is obsessed with overconsumption, with turning everything into content, with having everything available as fast as possible. That's a very damaging thing to deal with as a creator and can influence struggles of writers even more, to the point of breaking them.
It's a sad thing to say, but I would like to just remind people writers are also humans that need time to exist and check in with themselves.
Is there anything else you'd like to share with the readers?
Doing any type of creative ability can be lifechanging in terms of managing mental health struggles, writing is my favorite but there's also music, art, scrapbooking, sculpture, you name it! Creating something is beautiful in itself, the best part is that you don't even have to show it to anyone else but yourself if you don't feel comfortable doing so!
Where can readers connect with you and your work? (Socials, website, books, etc.)
All my links are in here and I'll be including the ones to buy Glowrot, my debut novel, once it's out on June 11th!
_____________________________________________________________________
Thank you for reading!
Bookish Musings sustains on your support. If you like the interview and would like to tip me, you can do it here!
Comments
Post a Comment